5 Days Late

So my due date was Friday. People ask me in the store when I'm due. Friday I say. Good luck they reply. No, LAST Friday I say. Cue look of sympathy.

I know 5 days isnt a huge deal but when YOU are the one who is carrying around a watermelon, 5 days feels like 5 decades. Each day just drags. Every little twinge makes me hopeful that it's starting, and then nothing. Every doctor's appt I am hoping to hear good news (dilation, etc) and nothing. So it gets very frustrating and irritating.

I know logically he will be here eventually, that it HAS to end, that it can't go on FOREVER, even though it feels like it will, but try being logical with a woman who is 9 months pregnant. It's a losing battle that I suggest you not even try to have.

So after much crying yesterday...I was fine at the doctor but the second I walked outside it just started pouring out lol. I eventually calmed down and am doing ok now....just tired of waiting. I am a very impatient person to begin with and I like to prepare and plan for things. So this does NOT work for me. I am going to have to get used to not being able to call the shots though, as I'm sure that will be William's job as soon as he gets here :)

Tomorrow AM I go for a non-stress test at the hospital, followed by a doctor's appointment that afternoon. Monday is a sonogram and another doctor's appointment. I have to go twice a week now since I'm late. I am hoping I will be able to cancel Monday's appointments, but I have been hoping that the past two weeks to no avail.

Well at least I know the longest it can be is another week. Then we're coming in after him!

I gained a TON (almost literally) of weight, too. So I am really upset about that, even though I wasn't pigging out or eating junk food. I just ate when I was hungry and I ate what I wanted to eat, especially at the beginning when there wasn't much I could even stomach. I know he is a big baby and the after-birth and water weight, etc. will add up, but I will still have a way to go after that. I know I can do it, I just feel disappointed that I gained so much. I wish the doctor had said something if I was getting too big. Although friends, family, strangers, they all say I look so tiny, with just a big belly. So who knows. I'm anxious to see what I will lose right away and what I will have left to lose via exercise and Weight Watchers. I know I can do it. Just gonna be a long summer!!!

Due Date...More like "Don't" Date....

(As in "I don't wanna come out yet, Mom!")


So this is what 40 weeks pregnant feels like????

Not that I should even be upset or impatient yet, because I know it is very rare that you go on your actual due date and it is even more likely for first time moms to be late rather than early. I was just reaaaaally hoping he'd be here by now. I am still hoping he will be here for Mother's Day, but I am not holding my breath. I will have to just celebrate next year :/

So on a day that I was, in a perfect world, supposed to be in labor, I instead had some bloodwork done, took in a movie, had lunch with my cousin, bought a super cute dress in a size small (healthy dose of wishful thinking and some good motivation to get back into shape ASAP!!!)

Yesterday at my doctor's appointment my blood pressure was slightly high. That coupled with the swelling I've been having, my doctor wants to just keep on eye on any developing preclampsia. She said there is nothing to be worried about yet, but she ordered some bloodwork anyway so that step is aready done, should anything get worse over the next few days. I honestly think my BP was high because I was in a rush getting to the appointment on time. But better safe than sorry. Monday afternoon I go for an ultrasound to gauge the size of the baby and Tuesday morning I have another appointment with my doctor.

At least I know the longest it can be now is another 2 weeks. By this time 2 weeks from now William WILL be here. Which is both very exciting and very scary, so maybe I should enjoy my last few nights of not having a newborn, because I am sure I don't even know what my life is going to be like and what is in store for me once he arrives.

But I can't wait to meet him/see him/hold him/kiss him!!!!!!!!!!!

About to friggin pop.

So today is the last day of my 39th week. Tomorrow I begin 40 -- aka hopefully the LAST WEEK -- of my pregnancy.

Since my last post, Baby William has definitely flipped around. As of the last post, I was debating between going through with the version procedure or not. I decided over the weekend before the procedure to cancel it. I called Monday morning and did so. Sometime on Monday eventhing there was a lot of movement going on in my belly. And then I felt little pokes and kicks in different areas, more vertical than horizontal. And I had a feeling he had flipped into position. When I went to the doctor last Thursday (4/21), she confirmed that he had, in fact, flipped. I was so proud of my son for knowning what to do and doing it, even when the doctors said there was a slim chance at this stage and size of him moving out of a breech position.

I go back this afternoon to the doctor and hoping he is still in position. I think he has, but he has moved once so I am not putting anything past this little guy. I am hoping for some good news as far as dilating or effacement or dropping. People say my belly looks like it is lower now so I am hoping he has dropped. Although last week the doctor said he was still pretty high, so we'll see what she says.

It has been so hot lately, I can't stand it. I don't know how women go thru the summer months in their third trimesters. Even second. I am glad I was only pregnant end of August and September and at those points was only a few months. I think I'll try to plan future pregnancies around this same timeline lol.

I also don't get women who say they loved being pregnant. Sure it has its good moments. But I am guessing these women never got to 39 weeks because I'm sorry but it is torturous. You're big. You're hot. You're swollen. You are no energy, even though you have so much left to do to prepare for the very near arrival. Oh AND...you get people telling you "any day now!!!" when you feel like delivery is a lifetime away. Any day my foot. People have been saying that to me for weeks and still NOTHING lol. "Hang in there!" As if I have some other option lol. At least I know it can't be too much longer now.

Don't get me wrong, most of the pregnancy, minus the second half of the first trimester when I was battling morning sickness, and this last 9th month, has been great. But pregnancy is no cakewalk, and God bless the women who go through it with no problems!

Last week the doctor said if I am still undelivered at my due date (May 6) then they will send me for another ultrasound to see how big the baby has gotten. I am assuming if he is big (which he will be, as 2 wks ago he was 7 1/2 lbs already), they will induce me, as to not keep this huge child in me any longer. I remember the childbirth class instructor saying at a certain point when the baby gets too big, the mother can no longer provide as well for him so it's best to get the baby out. I'm hoping to go on my own before next Friday, but I will be more than willing to do whatever the doctor thinks is best for me and William at that time.

I will update later with any new developments from today's appointment!! Just think, a BABY will be here any time from RIGHT NOW to at the latest, 2 weeks from now.....aaaaah!!!!!!

Update

So....as of last Thursday, April 7th, we were on schedule. William was in the right position and ready to go. I was 50% effaced, so the process had begun. Somewhere between Thursday afternoon and my ultrasound Monday morning, this little gymnast decided to flip into a frank breech position, where his little butt would come out first if I were to go into labor.

So my options are to wait and see if he flips back naturally, and if not, schedule a c-section for the 39th week OR to undergo an external cephalic version, where the doctor will manually manipulate my abdomen to turn the baby externally. This procedure is only effective 50% of the time and even if it does work, there is no guarantee that he will not move back anyway. If he does move back, c-section it is. If he doesn't, I wait for labor to begin naturally. They will not let me have natural birth while he is frank breech. There is a small risk that on the day of the procedure I'd have to have an emergency c-section, if the baby becomes distressed during the process. I read that the chances of that are 1 in 1000 and the doctor performing the version said in 25 years he hasn't had to do it.

I made an appt for the version for next Wednesday. Still deciding if I am going to keep the appt or not. I guess there is no real harm in going through with the procedure, but I just want to make sure I am doing what is best for the baby.

So after finding that out on Monday I was a pretty big wreck most of the day. On top of that news, they told us he was 7.5 lbs already...WITH 3 WEEKS TO GO. So I'm pretty sure I'll be giving birth to a giant. I know the average is just that, an average, but when you are no in that average range, you worry. I want him to be "average" and "normal". I understand that just because he is bigger doesn't mean anything is wrong, you just dont want to hear anything out of the ordinary when you are pregnant. You want everything to go smoothly and according to plan.

So between those 2 bit of news, my crazy hormones, my increasing nerves about the reality of actually having a child to take care of for the next 18 years starting in as little as 1 week....I was just all sorts of crazy.

I have calmed down a lot since then. Not as nervous, just, again, want to do what's best, even if that means scheduling a section.

I am so ready for this all to be over and to have him here safe and healthy. But I'm sure it will only get harder once he is here lol.

The countdown is on.

As if it hasn't been in MY mind for months now anyway....but now we really are steadily approaching D-Day and boy am I nervous. Not so much for the actual L&D (labor and delivery), but more for the not knowing WHEN it will happen. I hate surprises.

Speaking of hating surprises, my baby shower was last week. I clearly knew about it, because of said hatred for surprises, added to the fact that, if you ask my sister, I am a control freak, PLUS the fact that my mother couldn't handle the responsibility of throwing a party on her own if her life depended on it. So I was happy to help plan it/plan the whole thing lol.

Baby William got SO MUCH STUFF I cant even believe it. I started opening presents at 2:30 and didn't finish until the shower ended at 4:30. I kept hoping it was over because I was just getting so exhausted from opening all the gifts!! But we are very lucky to have such amazing family and friends who love us and our little Prince so much!!!

We managed to take much of the gifts home, and whatever we didnt need right away, my wonderful Aunt Barbara took to store in her garage, thank God. It's been a little over a week and I feel like I've done a pretty good job of organizing and straightening it all up. I sorted all his clothes into bins by month, and anything 6 months and up is packed away. I cleared out my night stand and part of my closet in those drawers/space I have all of his newborn and 0 to 3 month clothing. I put all of his handmade quilts and blankets in a bin. All of his books (over 60 at least...I lost count as I was packing) in another bin. All of his bath time paraphernalia...towels, washcloths, robes, etc...in another bin. I have one bin left to really sort out. Right now it just says "Toys & Wishing Well"...so its basically some stuffed animals and odds and ends that dont really have a place now. All in all, I'm feeling pretty good about the level of organization going on in our apartment right now. But I'm sure this won't last very long.

I will say though that being pregnant is great. You get treated so much better than when you're not pregnant. Saturday was our 1 year wedding anniversary. We went out to dinner in the city and to a broadway show (Wonderland). Dinner, in which I ordered a $99 lobster....probably the ONLY time in my life I will EVER do that, ran a little long and we left the restaurant with about 10 minutes to get to the theater. But being 8 months pregnant, my fat little legs could only waddle so fast through Times Square, so we go to the theater about 5 minutes into the show. As such, they couldnt seat us until there was a lull in the stage action. I would have been fine if we didnt just rush from dinner to the theater, but since we did, I was feeling out of breath and really needed to sit down, so Billy told an usher. They pulled a chair (someones seat...who wasnt yet seated) from the aisle and let me sit there. But then the person who's seat it was showed up and wanted to sit down. So the owner of the theater told the usher I had to get up. The usher told him I was pregnant, and he was all "oh stay, stay stay." And I dont know what they did, but I guess they sat that person somewhere else because stay I did. Then when they did seat us a few minutes later, the usher held my arm and lead me down the stairs like I was 80 years old. Meanwhile she was probably like 70 herself. She was so sweet though, and as the show is going on, she's asking me if it's my first, if I have a name picked, etc. Apparently she had all boys because she couldnt carry girls, and her 2nd husband's name is William. LOL....

But now back to the countdown. Depending on who you ask, I am due either May 3rd or May 6th. My OBGYN originally said the 3rd. But I knew it was the 6th. Somewhere along the line, they changed their files to say the 6th, but apparently not before I went for my ultrasound in December, because THEY have on file as May 3rd for my due date. But for argument's sake, since it IS just an estimate after all, let's say May 6th.

If that's the case, I am due in 39 days. That does not necessarily mean I will have a BABY in 39 days. He could be hear as early as April 15th (37 weeks) or as late as May 20th (42 weeks). So that puts us anywhere between 17 to 53 days.

SEVENTEEN DAYS????? I can't even imagine it!!!!!!! Even if it is 53 days, it will be here so fast.....

I have a lot on my mind right now about breastfeeding too. I may write another post about it, but most of my readers (hi Lauren & Aimee!) heard all about my worries via FB today, so I'll save them the reading.

I guess that's all for now....

Insomniaaaaaaa

The "What to Expect When You're Expecting" web site is a mind reader. Every time I get an email from them, telling me what I may be experiencing, I am experiencing just that. So it was no surprise when at 3:28 am last night I look at my blackberry and see an email from them entitld "Insomnia". According to the site, 75% of women experience insomnia in their third trimester. Lucky me for being one of them.

We got in to bed relatively early last night....Sunday nights Billy likes to get in bed early so he is well rested for the beginning of the week. So we usually lay down about 8 or 9 and watch TV for an hour or 2 in bed instead of in the living room. So last night by the time we settled in it was a little after 8. And as I said before, at 3:28 am I was still up. I had maybe an hour or 2 max of total sleep in between those 8 hours of being in bed. I watched 9,000 TV shows, went on facebook, ate an apple, tried just laying in the dark with the TV and everything off. Nothing. And then when I did fall asleep, I was up to go to the bathroom very soon after. I think I finally fell asleep a little after that 3:28 am email...and then Billy's alarm went off at 4:30. I was up for a few minutes then and then fell back asleep til he left for work around 7. Now at this point I can get up and start my day, but I am so exhausted from lack of sleep that I tell myself just another hour or 2 more and then I'll get up. Fast forward to 11:30 and I'm still laying in bed. I sleep so late in the morning because of the no sleep at night....and then obviously cant sleep again at night. It's a vicious cycle that I cannot break.

It's gonna be awhile before I get a solid, comfortable night's sleep ever again. Thank god I'm not working though. I don't know how I'd function at a job with this type of schedule.

Home stretch

It's been about a month since I posted. I kept meaning to, but couldnt find the time, which is odd since I am not working and still cant get everything done in a day that I want to. I dont know what I did when I worked 40 hours a week.

So I am into my 33rd week today. In reality, we could have a (full-term) baby anytime from 4 weeks from now until 9 weeks from now. Both options sound way too soon lol. I am so excited for May 6th (give or take) to come, but so nervous at the same time and definitely NOT looking forward to the actual labor part of it, lol.

At our childbirth class on Tuesday, they gave us a tour of the L&D rooms, the postpartum rooms I'd be staying in and then we went to the nursery. We happen to be there just as 2 new babies were born. One was about 45 minutes to an hour old, and the other just was a few hours old. They were so tiny and adorable and it made me want my little guy even sooner!! (But not too soon William...stay in there til you're done cooking!)

In other news, my doctor has said at my last 2 visits that I (meaning my uterus) am bigger than I should be at this point, by about a few weeks. She said it could be that he is just a big baby or that I am retaining a lot of water (which I am) and that it probably isnt anything major. I am going for an ultrasound on the 24th just to see what's going on. But at least it explains why I feel like such a cow lately lol.

Sleep has been a nightmare. Cant get comfortable at all. When I do, it lasts about an hour and I'm up again. Either he's kicking, I have to pee, etc....this past week Billy didnt sleep with his apnea machine which made it a million times worse for me to sleep, too. Just a bad week for sleep lol.

My baby shower is next week.(Yes I know about it. I'm basically planning the whole thing. By choice though, I love this stuff...www.facebook.com/eldplanning or www.eldplanning.com). Can't believe it's already here. Have no idea what we are going to do with all the gifts, but we'll find a way haha.

Oh and today's my BIRTHDAY! The big 2-6. Last year at this time I was a few weeks away from getting married and now this year I am a few weeks away from being a mom. So weird how things can change so much in a year!